I don’t have a sister, but I do have a best friend. She’s been a part of my life ever since I could call it that. She is the left brain to my right one, the yin to my yang— the perfect balance to my decrepit existence.

I met Kajayla Boyd in the summer of 2013 in a 14-month long program that helped inner city students attend private schools. We were both budding with youthful aspirations for our futures, ready to take on this scholarly endeavor to ensure we received the best education possible. It was the perfect time to meet the person who would go through so much of this life with me.

Kajayla loves to tell the story of our first encounter. I proudly wore a Harry Potter shirt and she loved my confidence, noting it as the reason she approached me. I was enthralled with her beaming curiosity. She spoke a mile a minute, observing and noticing just about everything. Her small stature and bigger than life presence captured everyone that day, and continues to do so all these years later.

In the duration of the program, we honed our academic skills and created a beautiful friendship. We spent the majority of our days together, starting school at 8 am and leaving only after our afternoon of sports and study hall. We shared tears over the pressures of the program, dreams of escaping our homes for prestigious boarding schools, and the fervor to make our goals a reality. I saw her more than my family members, so it’s no wonder she’s now one of mine. 

During this period of my life, the traumatic experiences I endured in my childhood started to manifest as mental and physical ailments. I was quite avoidant, neglecting my emotions for aspirations of grandeur, an easy escape from my chaotic life. But somehow, Kajayla met me past my armor and carved herself a place in my heart and its soul. Even though she had her own afflictions, life at home was not ideal for either of us, she showed up in every way as a friend. She’d ask the tough questions, prying even when I was uncomfortable, she’d offer advice, a shoulder to cry on, and hugs for my touch deprived self.

As our dreams became reality, we parted ways to attend our perspective boarding schools, but somehow managed to continue our commitment to our friendship. We sustained it throughout college, through our first years of life thereafter, until now. It’s the first time since we first met that we’re living in the same city, but our friendship never wavered, and now thrives with closeness. 

Having a sister has saved me various times through this last decade. I can only wish the blessing of such companionship for others. My soul has its mate, the piece of itself it lost through terribly painful experiences in the wondrous time of my childhood. Every time something hinders my ability to love, Kajayla is there to mend the trust. I know love because I have her. And what a beautiful gift from this universe. As she ventures through her own trials, I am beyond proud of the human that I have witnessed. Her valor, the force of her soul, and the magnitude of her heart does not compare. She is one of one. 

Sometimes I think back to that first summer, the heat, the long days, the hallways that felt too big for two girls with so many hopes and dreams. Somewhere in the quiet logic of the universe, our lives were meant to overlap, to learn, to lean, and to endure side by side. Loving Kajayla has been one of the clearest ways I have experienced divinity, an undeniable affirmation of this universe and its gods. In her, I learned how to be held, how to trust, and how to love without fear. In choosing her, I found something steady in a world that rarely feels so.